


Werewolves, Vampires, and Clowns … Oh My!!!

by GuileandGall



Series: Free To Be [13]
Category: Saints Row
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 16:57:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2659523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuileandGall/pseuds/GuileandGall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny, Dex, and Remy head to a Halloween Festival for a Zombie Kill House, but never quite make it there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Werewolves, Vampires, and Clowns … Oh My!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Written to fill a prompt from the Halloween meme prompted by Kakumei

**Werewolves, Vampires, and Clowns … Oh My!!!**

"Thanks again," Remy said. She turned right into her friend as Dex draped an arm over Remy's shoulder.

"We good?"

"Hell yeah. And they even had purple bracelets tonight." She pulled one off and handed it to Washington.

"Oh! It was meant to be."

She peeked over his shoulder. "Where'd you leave Gat?"

"He was talking to some little chica dressed like Daisy Duke," Dex said dismissively.

Remy chuckled darkly and slid her arm around his waist as they walked slowly. Her eyes scanned the darkness for her other friend. The waving cape of the vampire caught her eye first then Johnny stepped toward the little white-faced youngster, looming over him.

Remy swatted Dex on the chest. "You see? This, this is why I told you to stay with him." Her pace increased as the pair of them moved to intervene. "Johnny! Johnny!" The second call was more emphatic and earned her a hair of recognition as his head tipped slightly. When she reached Gat, she knew she had missed one hell of a conversation.

"Come on, Dracula. It's a valid question. Do the fangs get in the way?" Gat growled.

The kid stammered and went totally silent when Remy slipped her arm around the costumed vampire. "Ignore him, kid."

"What? It's a valid question?"

Remy offered the heavily painted kid a little shove as he escaped. "Fucking with the staff?" She shook her head at him. "You're going to get us thrown out before we even get to the zombies."

"Hey, he's the one that jumped out at me trying to be all spooky."

Dex clapped Johnny on the shoulder. "What did you say to him?"

"Asked him is his girl liked the fangs or if she made him take them out before he went down on her."

Remy just smiled while Dex roared. Gat winked at her.

The movement caught her eye before any details. The shock of whitish hair moved over Johnny's shoulder. Remy's smirk was tiny as the creepy voice started.

"You smell delicious," the new staff member said from over Gat's shoulder.

As Johnny looked left, the tall white-wigged clown glanced at Remy. "Mmm, what a lovely smile?"

Dex stumbled backward a step as Johnny pushed into him. Remy knew how much he hated clowns and this one was a special kind of creepy. He ignored Johnny and stared at the tiny blond. He had a mouth full of dark needled teeth, which he widely flashed at the young woman.

"Thank you. Yours is impressive, too," Remy replied with a calculating smirk.

His mouth widened as he came to loom over her. He was at least as tall as Johnny and as she looked up into the light eyes ringed with dark black paint, she shook her ponytail back over her shoulder as her weight shifted.

"You would make a lovely main course at our dinner this evening."

Apparently that idle threat made in an attempt to rile the girl of the group worked on at least one target. Johnny grabbed the creepy clown by the shoulder spun him and punched him.

"Oy. Motherfucker." The costumed carnie doubled over with his hands to his face as Remy and Dex, both put hands on Johnny." What's your problem?" the clown groaned as blood oozed from between his fingers.

"Fucking creepy bastard."

"It's Halloween asshole. It's supposed to be creepy." He stamped his foot as he started to straighten back up.

Johnny lunged again. The clown fell on his ass and Remy pushed her shoulder into Gat.

"Chill man," Dex grunted as he tried to hold onto his friend

"Fucking goddamn clowns," Gat grumbled, shaking Jackson and Remy off.

The clown looked up at the three of them. "Seriously, you're scared of clowns," the white and black clad character howled.

Remy wrapped her arms around Johnny's midsection, which she knew only stopped him because he was not quite ready to go through her to get to the clown. "Come on, man. Just let the clown bleed in peace," McGinnis said, trying to be as diplomatic as possible.

"Umm, guys," Dex noted. "We might want to take a powder on the attractions tonight." His tone caused Remy to peek around Johnny's arm.

"Fuck. He's right. Let's go."

"Hey, you can't just break someone's nose and walk away," the clown called after them.

When Johnny started to turn, Dex and Remy grabbed him tighter, while the little blonde lifted the back of her jacket enough for the metal at the small of her back to glint. Dex and Remy escorted Johnny out, but not without another grumble or two of about _fucking creepy ass goddamn clowns_.

"I hope you know you're buying dinner, dickhead," Remy told him as they climbed into her car. "Punching out clowns. Seriously, man? You know it was just some pimply-faced college kid trying to get his jollies while scaring some girl right?"

"Picked the wrong girl," Dex opined from the backseat.

"He couldn't know that. Tiny blond with two big guys to protect her--I had to be the damsel in distress, right?"

"Fuck," Johnny drawled.

"Then why'd you punch the fucker?" Dex queried with a hint of irritation.

Johnny shrugged. "Threaten to eat my friend and while fangs might not be so bad those teeth looked painful."

The three of the cackled loudly as the car started and they tore out of the parking lot.


End file.
